Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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