Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
