he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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