I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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