So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
