i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
