hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
