Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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