Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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