My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
