People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize