they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm too high and old for this...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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