I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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