My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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