U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
