Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Randomize