That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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