My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
