he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
