The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
