I want to have your abortion
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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