If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
