Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
