he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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