Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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