No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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