ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
