3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
