Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
