I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
