Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
