I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
