My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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