I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
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there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
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I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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