Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
