If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize