Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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