At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
