Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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