i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
