.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
