ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
