I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
