I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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