he shaved USA in his pubs
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
