help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
