Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
