Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
