I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize