Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
