Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
