Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
