Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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