It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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