i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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